Surrogacy is an extremely emotional process for everyone involved, including the parents seeking to start a family and the surrogate. This requires all parties to seek psychological support for effective decision-making and a smooth process. Emotional support entails encouraging clear communication regarding personal feelings and expectations. That is why working with an experienced surrogacy agency is encouraged to ensure you understand everything that is at stake and your needs.
Some of the emotional issues an intended parent ought to address before and after surrogacy include the following:
The Loss of a Child or Grief of Infertility
The decision to engage a surrogate is not always easy, as it comes after the realization of how difficult it is to bear a child. This realization could come after the loss of a child or the knowledge that you or your partner is infertile. Some people choose surrogacy after failed fertility medical treatments. All these are issues that cause a lot of emotional heartbreak, that a parent-to-be ought to address beforehand, to prevent them from ruining the joy and satisfaction that comes with a successful surrogacy journey.
Managing Expectations
If you have been waiting for a long time to start a family, it could be difficult to manage your emotions during the surrogacy journey. This could create a rift between you and your surrogacy agency, partner, or surrogate. A skilled psychologist can help you maintain a transparent, strong bond with all parties involved through frequent communication and physical presence.
Loss of Control
It is difficult to remain in control when another person is carrying your child. You are not able to control what the mother of your child eats every day, how they process their emotions, and the care they give your child, especially in your absence. This can cause a lot of emotional distress to a parent-to-be. A skilled psychologist can help you maintain a sound emotional balance as you await the birth of your child.
Emotional Issues a Surrogate Needs to Manage
Being a surrogate also comes with a lot of emotional attachment to the child you are carrying. The constant reminder that the child belongs to another family can cause significant mental and emotional distress, which, if not properly addressed, may ruin your experience. Some of the emotional concerns you should adequately address include the following:
Attachment and Relinquishment
As a surrogate, the thought of giving up a child you have carried for nine months can be emotionally overwhelming. You experience a deep connection and empathy for the baby. Your connection with the intended parents can also cause emotional distress as the time to give up the child comes closer. You need help managing these emotions and preparing for the transition of handing the child over to their parents.
Fluctuating Pregnancy Hormones
Pregnancy hormones cause deep emotions and mood swings, which could affect your overall well-being during the pregnancy. You need sufficient emotional support to ensure you feel better, because how you feel also affects the baby’s well-being.
Handling Family Dynamics
The support of your family matters a lot when you choose to be a surrogate. If you have children, a spouse, parents, or siblings, their support is critical to ensuring a seamless process. They will help you manage the emotions and challenges that come with a pregnancy, and will offer the support you need after handing the child over to the intended parents.
Postpartum Transition
A lot more happens to the body and mind of a mother after a child is born, and all this will happen to you. You need help learning how to manage the postpartum changes before they affect your physical, mental, and emotional well-being. For example, there will be a tremendous drop in the hormones that supported the pregnancy for nine months. You will experience a sudden change in your bodily functions when that drop happens. There is also the emotional shift of giving up a baby that has become part of your body and life for months.
Working with a skilled surrogacy agency helps you go through these transitions without experiencing the burden that comes with them. The agency will prepare you in advance for the postpartum transition and support you when the time comes. A therapist from the agency can also extend support after postpartum until you are ready to move on past the surrogacy.
Family Considerations for Surrogacy
Family considerations are also critical in ensuring that the transition is easy for the surrogate and parents-to-be. Your family, as a surrogate or intended parent, plays a critical role in the surrogacy journey. This is not a decision made by a few parties alone; it involves everyone in their respective families. In that case, it helps to understand the considerations you should make about your family before starting this journey. Some of these considerations include the following:
Parentage and Legal Protections
There should be clear legal protections for a surrogate and an intended parent to ensure that their rights are protected throughout the process. This means that you need an attorney to represent your interests. The attorney you choose should be different from the one the other party hires for advice, guidance, and legal representation. Your attorney will ensure that the intended parent gets a pre-birth order with their name on the birth certificate. They will also develop a clear parentage order to establish who the child's legal parent is.
The Type of Surrogacy You Choose
There are mainly two types of surrogacies you can choose in California: traditional and gestational surrogacy. Traditional surrogacy entails using someone who is related to you to carry your child. The intended parents do not donate their sperm or eggs to the process. Gestational surrogacy entails donating your sperm and egg to an independent surrogate, who carries your child in their womb. The intended parents’ sperm and egg are scientifically transferred to the surrogate’s womb to produce their biological child.
The choice you make, in this case, must be agreeable to your family, whether you are a surrogate or the intended parent.
The Financial Considerations
The surrogacy journey will cost the intended parents a substantial amount of money. This calls for prior preparedness to ensure a smooth process. Some of the considerations you need to make as a family include the agency fees, legal fees, medical costs, and surrogacy compensation fees. Medical costs include payments for IVF cycles, medical screening for the surrogate, embryo creation, and hospital bills during delivery. It is important to plan your finances to avoid financial difficulties once you start the process.
Surrogacy Requirements
Intended parents also need to consider the surrogacy requirements before starting the journey. You must clearly consider the kind of surrogate you need, including their age, physical description (if it matters to the parents), and their physical, emotional, and mental well-being. For example, you can choose a surrogate who does not smoke, is an active parent, and has a healthy BMI. A reliable surrogacy agency will help you determine the right parameters to consider in choosing the right surrogate.
A surrogate must also understand their role in the surrogacy process beforehand. A skilled agency will ensure you understand your roles and rights, helping you manage your expectations more effectively. This understanding also makes your relationship with the intended parents easy.
Guardianship Planning
Remember that a surrogate does not have any legal responsibility to the child they are carrying. That is why proper guardianship planning is needed before the journey begins. The intended parents must prepare legal documents that separate themselves and the child from the surrogate after the child is born. They must also provide legal proof that the child will be well cared for and legally protected in the event of unforeseen incapacitation or emergency. For example, an intended parent can prepare a will or trust for the child in advance, ensuring the child’s needs will be met if the inevitable happens.
Generally, family considerations are based on your family structure, whether you are a single parent, a married couple, or in a same-sex relationship or marriage. A surrogacy agency will help you make proper considerations that will take into account the unique nature and structure of your family. Additionally, most decisions will depend on whether you have already-created embryos or intend to start an egg-donor or IVF journey with your surrogate. That is why working with an experienced surrogacy agency is highly recommended.
Find a Reliable Surrogacy Agency Near Me
Do you want to become a surrogate or start a family through surrogacy in Los Angeles?
You will enjoy a seamless and successful process by partnering with the right surrogacy agency. The right agency will ensure that you understand all critical considerations before making the final decision, including emotional and family considerations. It will also ensure that your needs and best interests are served.
We are a reputable agency at Bliss Surrogacy Los Angeles. We offer supportive services to surrogates and intended parents for a smooth process. Call us at 310-218-1110 to discuss your needs and our services in detail.